Visions

I have visions. I believe that I have said this before. If you read my blog it should not be a revelation to you.

I have visions. Lots of visions. They are my constant companion.

Previously, I have talked about how these visions are the inspirations for my writing; I turn scenes in my mind into words on a page. If done correctly these words will then recreate an approximation of the vision for the reader, for no matter how perfectly I craft my words you will never be able to perfectly describe the vision. There are too many details that are lost in translation.

Today though, I want to write about theatre. Theatre is an odd experience: Players collaborating to create great works which they will likely never see. I do not get to experience my visions recreated on stage because I am an actor inside of them. I help bring them to life, but am impossibly placed to experience the impact of the creation.

It is possible to record, but it is not the same. It is like trying to look at yourself in a mirror with your eyes closed. If your eyes are truly closed you cannot see yourself in the mirror. A photo or video does not recreate the experience. You will never look into the mirror with closed eyes.

For this reason, I want to move beyond being an actor. I want to direct. I want to create my visions and be able to see the fruit of the creation from the outside, to be separate from the work that was created. Visions. Obsessions. They are in my head. Sets, costumes, sounds, actors. All the aspects of a performance echoing inside my head bidding me to create them. Actors cross the stage, gesture with an arm, tilt their head just so. I have seen it. Sometimes I have seen some of you on the stage of my mind.

I have visions.

Currently, I am thinking of a show (I won't say which), but I can picture the staging. The lighting. The sound. The actors faces are blank, still to be cast, but I know where they are on stage. And I want it. I want it to be real. I want you to see what I see.

Maybe someday you will.